Friday, October 12, 2012

Tank Top Saver! My Very Unorthodox Apron

Through my recent excursions of gumpaste and bread making, I have floured my favorite black tank top more than once, and I nearly floured my underarmour top.  This is not ok with me.

I also really should not be allowed to touch a needle.  You need to prepare yourself for the most haphazard and unorthodox methodology you have seen in a while. Like I always say, find something you are good at and stick with it.

As you can see I had a pillowcase and some extra zebra material.  Naturally your first thought seeing this prints would be apron, yes? HA, I still don't know how it happened...nor can I say I am not a little happy with the results.

Here. We. GO:

First I held the closed end of the pillowcase up to my chest to effectively get my measurements.

You seamstress types are cringing, I know.

I folded the corners in to keep tabs on where I wanted to cut.

Oh yea, did I mention I didn't mark anything and just went willy-nilly cutting?

Alright, not willy-nilly, I did have some idea of where I was going with it.  Shaped like an apron, that was my goal.

I never could freehand cut a heart out of a piece of paper.  But you fold that paper in half and my symmetry abilities skyrocket ;).  As far as I was concerned, the same principles applied here.

So after I had cut the first side I folded it over so I could mimic it on the other.

Laugh all you want, but it worked a lot better than my usual methods of blind cutting! I then cut from the bottoms of these cuts down at an angle toward the bottom hem.  Mostly I wanted to be able to utilize their normal looking hems as much as possible instead of having to rely on my sewing looking ok...

Random sidenote, I will be shocked if I even wear an apron.  But I have been looking for something to do with this pillowcase since the day I got it.  It is kinda see through and has horrible horizontal stripes, so I knew I could not make it in to something that I would wear in public.

I may never be comfortable in horizontal stripes I have determined.

And yes, the nightmare of a grant is still going on.  I figure I have a solid 20 minutes to blog before I get another revised edition in my email...

 Right, right...apron.  Ok so I apparently never took a picture of the top seam, but what I did was fold the top over and had it hit the center of one of those lines of leaves that I could see through the fabric, that way it was relatively even. 

I then sewed using a basic stitch that I wouldn't know the name for if a million dollars was on the line, but I like to think of it as a dolphin in the water...above below above below random strides because I am impatient....

Anyway I pulled the thread tighter in some areas to effectively create a bunched/ruffled look. You know in the Bible where it says love covers a multitude of sins? Well ruffles cover awful sewing skills.  I will prove this again later on.

I wanted a flower on one side where I attached fabric strips to tie it around my neck, so I cut off the bottom part of the fabric where the copyright notice is because I find it funny that they have to copyright fabric, and began to bunch it up and work it in to a faux rosette...or fauxsette in this case.  I sewed that on and went about my merry way.
 I folded my zebra material in half and then folded it down so that I could cut a reasonably equal length to make a belt out of. 

I folded it wrong way out, stitched up the side using my curly fry stitch (aka just looping around and through, I am getting a severe kick out of giving them funny names) leaving the last couple or five inches open to turn it right side out.

Couple or five is a technical term.  Learn it.

So by the time I got all this done I had to go back to grant writing because my email was blowing up and the other grad assistant was leaving for the weekend...and the grant is due Monday.  So guess who is stuck with fixing any nightmares.  Yep...this chick.

And by the time I came back to my apron I ended up not liking that particular strip for a belt...even though I would seriously end up making an identical one matter, I turned this one into a ruffle.

In another stroke of questionable methods I made ruffly bits along the bottom.  Keep in mind I have not bothered to sew the sides yet because I am going to con my mom into doing that later.  My attention span for this is over.

Anyway I cut a rough (really rough) strip out of my zebra fabric, folded it over the bottom hem, and sewed it on, bunching it and ruffling it as I went.

Then I decided to add the shoulda-been-a-belt on as another two layers of ruffles by folding it over, bunching it on the fly, and sewing/tacking it down.

How I will ever get this to look right with a real seam I haven't a clue.

I cut out a new belt later, have not sewed it, not sure I will, and just used it to tie the darn thing on. 

 So I laid it all out on the floor...

And I'll be darned if it wasn't cute.  You know how bulldogs and pugs are so freakin hideous they are fantastically adorable? And baby sloths?  And playtpi (which is my new plural for it regardless of accuracy).  It's a lot like that...

I am by the way really not the domestic type that wears aprons...or ruffles for that matter...or lavender horizontal hideousness.

But somehow this apron really appeals to me.  I think it might be the complete lack of care in mixing two VERY loud prints.

I wanted to add pockets... let's be realistic.  I would be far better off to tie this thing on to me with a tool belt than try to sew some pockets...Oh snap that's a great idea...

Soooo, I didn't make my bed today.  Sue me.

Here is my super goofy, nearly blackmail quality, homemade apron. :)

...that matches my sheets.

...both past and present (my last set was zebra).

My point to all this is as follows: If I, a GreenZebra (in a sea of black and white), can sew something and actually get it to turn out as an identifiable article of kitchenwear...YOU CAN MAKE ONE TOO!

Because as I have proven, this chick can't sew.

In other news today, I was asked how I get through college without booze...I guess my response is I make aprons.  They asked if it was personal, religious, or what, to which I replied all of the above plus I just don't like the taste of alcohol.  Which is true.  Unless it is a microscopic amount of bourbon in a bourbon ball.  But we make ours with maraschino cherry juice in them so I really don't think that counts...

I don't even like the smell of any of it.  I was blessed like that, I like to think.  It really isn't a temptation when you really can't stand it.  Like if someone offered me grape juice.  Ugh.  Although I would drink grape juice before alcohol.

If it came down to alcohol or that old Dymatap (or however it was spelled) cough medicine that was horrible and THAT would be a tough call. Almost heaved just thinking about it.


I also think this apron spawned because I am so tired of citing methodologies that I needed ONE THING where I could just do whatever the heck I wanted and not have a single legitimate reason to back it up...


So go raid your linen closet, find an old pillowcase (you won't mind staining it!) and make you an apron.  And stop flouring your black shirts and pants because all that extra scrubbing will just make them lose their color that much faster.


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