Monday, December 5, 2011

Change your attitude, change your life.

I am one of those girls who probably could have an entire blog solely about crazy ex boyfriends, crazy guys asking me out, and similar topics.  Luckily, I am not the type of girl to only post about such topics.  But there's no reason we can't begin with one.  I was dating a guy off and on for six years, he ended up leaving me for the mother of his five cousins (cougar), which should explain why I could do an entire blog on stuff like this.  Technically I broke off the relationship, but he was long gone out of it way before I did.  They recently got married and I am not going to lie, it actually got me a little worked up again.  But I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and this is no exception.
I got to thinking to myself, reminiscing on the relationship and I came to a couple of conclusions:
  • It is very hard for a woman to admit she is wrong, and that a guy was actually not a good boyfriend at all.
  • You end up missing the person you thought existed, even though they were pretending to be someone they weren't the whole time.
  • It is much harder to get over things you cannot understand.  If I got left for Megan Fox, that is something I would understand completely.  :)
  • And perhaps the best of all: Changing your attitude changes everything.
Yes, I could sit around and dwell on what happened and be annoyed that someone would do that, but does it solve anything? Nope.  Does it make me feel better? Nope.  What makes me feel better is knowing that his decisions do not still affect me, I have so many great friends and family, and have absolutely nothing holding me back.  And that is incredibly important to me.
I think so often we settle, especially women.  We get so scared we will not find someone else and we just settle.  Sometimes you just have to call it like it is.  The guy doesn't have a car or won't come pick you up? He better have a darn good reason.  The guy never wants to go out just the two of you and always wants to bring his family (aka his younger cousins) with you? Gigantic red flag.  TLC tried to tell us years ago with their song "Scrubs".
The fact of the matter is the good guys are hard to find, the sucky ones are a dime a dozen.  But you wouldn't buy a lemon of a vehicle just because there were more on the lot than the good ones.  So why get a lemon of a boyfriend? This might be one of the hardest things for women to learn and do, to stick to their guns, not be afraid to move on, and to not settle for anything less than they deserve.
You teach someone how to treat you by letting them get away with things.
Sometimes you just have to let your heart soften back up.  The stone cold thing can work for a while, but the more you dwell on something the more it affects your life. I do believe it was Eleanor Roosevelt who said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". Pin It Now!

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