Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Don't Avoid Confidence.

I actually have to blog this before I even make a title.  My brain is going in at least 13 different directions at once and really doesn't want to focus in.  Part of it is here at school, part of it is at home, part of it is in DC and part of it is already at Grad School.  For a usually focused human, I'm struggling.

I want to first start out with a challenge for the ladies.  Many of us doubt ourselves on a consistent basis, don't think we have a lot to offer, or whatever self esteem glitches we tend to have.  I want you (actually guys could do this too, as long as you don't get too cocky) to look in the mirror every single morning and think of 5 things you like about yourself, that you bring to a friendship/relationship, or that you are proud of.  Some of you could probably use a little extra positive thinking and would be surprised at how much it can improve your overall outlook.

I am not asking you to be conceited.  You don't have to stand there and say "I am so hott and every guy on the earth would want me".  But hey by all means if you want to go ahead.  Just simple things like "My hair looks great today" or "I am good at what I do" or "This color looks good on me" or "I am a smart woman"- anything positive.  Just something.  But don't so often we start our days like Mia in the Princess Diaries...

" as good as it gets" in a bummed out tone?

The first step to fixing a problem is admitting you have one.

Ever seen the girl that walks into the room and every head turns and you wonder why because she isn't the stereotypical version of hott? Well, she is probably confident.  She probably knows that she is great at what she does and she is walking with a purpose.  I have always said that the #1 reason I have gotten both my degrees paid for is because I walk in knowing that I am more than qualified in the brains and work ethic departments to be a great addition to any college.

Put me on the dance floor, however, and I will suddenly look completely out of my element.  But chalk that up to not enough practice.

The point is, when you have something you are proud of, it helps you in every situation.  I do sometimes get nervous when talking to guys but for the most part I can focus on various topics (usually fantasy football) and get in to a conversation long enough to release my tension and mold to the situation.  In interviews, having something you can focus on and relate everything back to gives you an instant way to keep the conversation flowing while your brain quickly fires off neurons for a better answer that you can fuse into the end of your statement.

And the sooner you stop putting so much pressure on the situation, you will be able to enjoy it a lot more.

If you spend your entire time worrying about what to say, when to say it, and how it could be perceived, you will never get the full enjoyment that you should out of a relationship.  What will happen, will happen.  Regardless of whether you try to overanalyze the situation or you just let it be.  The Beatles would tell you to just let it be. 

I rarely studied for a test.  Honest truth.  I did a little work before the SAT, barely any before the GRE (except if my mom asked in which case I was studying hard, right?) and I knocked them out of the park.  Case in point.  Stop worrying.  You have natural God-given abilities to get through life and be successful.  But to those who sit at the start line and wring their hands wondering just how they should go about the race, it is done before they take their first step.

To those that just run, trusting that instincts will guide them through the trail and around obstacles, those are the people who get the most out of it.

You can worry until the end of time about what will happen, but all you have done is waste the time you could have been using to find out.  The Bible says worry not about tomorrow because today has its own issues, and its right.  Don't worry about what -might- happen if you say or do this particular thing that really in the grand scheme of things is completely inconsequential and you will never remember it.  You only get one chance at life. And if you look back at all the hours you spent worrying about something instead of acting, you might just find yourself with a lot of What-Ifs by the time it is all said and done.

And once you start getting more and more results, you will get more and more confidence to go right along with it.

Also ladies, alarming news has reached my ears.  I hear that we are considered "hooked" whenever we spill the beans that we have had a dream about the guy we are talking to. 

So, note to you and to self, maybe make 'em wait a while longer before informing them we have had said dream, yes? ;)

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