Everyone thought my class in high school would lose someone before graduation. There were a lot of people who didn't always do things the safest way and it hadn't happened to a class in a while. Seems like those kind of things happen every so many years doesn't it? We made it through high school graduation without a scrape, but sadly would not make it to the typical college graduation. Recently, one of my classmates died.
Again, it's not my story to tell and I'm not going in to the details, I wasn't close to the girl and it's just not my place. But it did get me thinking again about how none of us are guaranteed a certain life span. And what we are given goes by all too quickly.
But what if someday we sat down with God for a cup of coffee. Or Republic of Tea in my case. What if he gave us the chance to watch our life played back to us?
If you had to sit there and watch your life on replay, would you be happy with how you spent your time? Would you find it interesting? Would you see meaning in it?
I've come to the conclusion that the people who enjoy their lives the most are those who do things for others. They make things for others or volunteer to help others or are the best friends imaginable to others. It never seems like the people who make billions and drive fancy cars and live in huge houses and never share their resources are happy. It doesn't seem like the most powerful people are happy.
If you watched your life on replay, would you regret the time spent getting drunk? Sleeping off a hangover? Maybe this happened while someone you know was going through a really rough time and could have used a friend. Who knows. I'm not saying partying is inherently wrong but there are those who do it every weekend or more and I feel like personally in the long run I'd feel like I wasted time.
I already feel like I waste time.
I sometimes feel like I have done nothing big or meaningful. I did help out at a mission once but I rarely even do stuff like that because I can never make myself go alone. It's pretty lame and I get pretty annoyed with myself sometimes. I have donated money to various relief efforts and programs but it just seems so minuscule. It really gets under my skin.
I think what I really want is to feel like I'm making a difference. Feel like I have made a positive influence on someone's life. And I don't always feel that way. I really feel selfish with my time and money and things like that.
And so I wonder what I'd feel like if I had to watch my life on replay. I'm not so sure I'd be proud. I am not sure I'd want to finish watching it.
It's sad that it takes a death for people to look around and reevaluate their lives. But if I am sitting here contemplating all of this I can only imagine what her friends are going through.
Live a life that makes a difference to someone other than you. Be the best friend you can be, help people when they need it, follow through on what you say, and don't begrudge people for things they can't change. I know, sounds a little disgustingly optimistic. But no one is happy when all their energy is poured inward. Make someone smile. It will make you smile. Make someone hurt and you will hurt too.
You get back in life what you give, and I hope we all can manage to give it all we have. Just like Donald Miller, we need to live a better story.
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